THE EMPATHY PROJECT
SISTER-FRIENDS PT.1
By Tando Keke
Sisterhood is real and I am a great proponent of this. I have sisters (whom I share) no biological relation but women who are in my life & have brought so much life, love and joy into it.
My sister-friends were with me when my father passed away 8 years ago. They prayed, visited, comforted me and they stood next to me at his funeral. This was for me the greatest moment of grief that I had experienced in my lifetime and my sister-friends did not leave my side.
Not only have they been there for me through times of tragedy, but they have also been with me in times of celebration.
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They were there when I first got on a flight to do volunteer work in another nation, in fact we all went together. We experienced the highs and lows of life together and have been bonded as sisters by them. Our sisterhood did not just magically happen but it came from intentionally making choices to choose connection over offence. We learnt to fight for one another, we intercede for one another, encourage one another and yes, we do have disagreements.
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When disagreements arise, or we experience a difference of opinion- we welcome open discussion, we create safe spaces to be heard, to be seen, to be known. We fight with each other not against each other and we fight for connection and for our friendship.
We learnt years ago how to be vulnerable in our little sisterhood community and to build one another up. We are each other’s greatest cheerleaders and we are always intentionally looking for ways to empower not only ourselves but also other women to become the best versions of ourselves.
We have a zero tolerance policy on gossip, slander, tearing other women down or breaking down one another. We choose to deal with our hurts individually and to take responsibility for our wounds so that we won’t project our pain onto one another.
SISTER-FRIENDS PT.2
By Tando Keke
Even though we live on different continents and we are in completely different seasons of our lives, although we have lost touch and we are no longer as close as we used to be- we are still sisters. And when any one of our sisters sounds the call, we will be there- even if it's online now because of the pandemic.
Our lives and our stories are tied together and when we catch-up it’s for hours but with none of the awkwardness. Instead with all of the joy of the last time we were all together in that beautiful season of our singleness when we were all becoming the wonderful and powerful women of God that we are today.
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Sisterhood is real and it’s necessary. One day in the future when I get married, it is my prayer that my sister-friends will be standing right next to me celebrating the breakthrough testimony of God’s redemptive love. And I pray that one day when they get married, that I will be able to be there, God willing, cheering them on, and enjoying the beauty of their love story and the joy of the dreams of their heart coming true.
I love my sister-friends and I believe in them and they love and believe in me too. Sisterhood is a beautiful and precious gift, treasure it well and protect it from all the things of life that will try to tear it apart. Sisterhood is real and it’s a connection in friendships with other women that is worth fighting for.
EVERY WOMAN
By: Elelwani Netshifhire
Sisterhood is a support system every womxn needs. As a triplet I feel that the idea of sisterhood was imprinted in me at inception; destining to never be alone, but to have strong beautiful bonds with all womxn I would meet throughout the journey that is my life.
No one gets me like womxn do, I feel at home with all amazing ‘sisters’ I am surrounded with. In return, I offer the same shelter to the womxn I am doing life with- they can testify to the sisterhood that has bind us together, one shaped by shared ideals and values.
Sisterhood is real. It is intentional even with the biological sisterhood- the love and accountability must be developed purposefully. Sisterhood can be built in various spaces; from digital to tangible. What makes it real though, is more than the outlook; it is knowing than you can truly count on someone and also be the person who extends the same gestures of sisterhood to the next sister.
It’s taking a moment to engage with a teary sister on the train or in the washrooms, it's selfless. Sisterhood isn’t about you giving and being present while you are depleted, it is offering from a cup that has enough. Sisterhood builds up; forged by different souls, with shared intentions it can only build up. It breaks when egos allow both parties to watch it crumble. Sisterhood should gives us room to thrive despite all our differences
"GO WHERE YOU'RE WATERED"
By: Boipelo Seswane
If any part of the life I’ve lived so far has taught me anything, it’s to go where you’re watered. There’s growth, love in being where you’re watered. And while you’re being watered, water those around you too. This is what sisterhood and the role it has played in my life mean to me. It looks like women who build entire villages (metaphorical or not) and cherish rising together. I count myself blessed to have women who’ve become my sisters in this life game- who carry me in ways I can’t fully define yet hold with the utmost care and appreciation as I move to be the same presence and space holder for them. Being raised by a single mother and the women she counts as her friends- sisters- meant witnessing the places of empowerment, invigoration and support they were and continue to be for each other. Toni Morrison’s words from her 1987 novel Beloved keep coming back to me this year: “She is a friend of my mind. She gather me, man. The pieces I am, she gather them and give them back to me in all the right order. It's good, you know, when you got a woman who is a friend of your mind." Finding her words nestled in that book, along with seeing all the ways that true sisterhood asks that we hold space for each other; celebrate and invest in each other, I am grateful for my sisters.